Making our Mission Possible

Coaching documentary

Today I watched this documentary about coaching which I think really captures the essence of what its all about.   Take a look and see what you think?

From resistance to acceptance

I have noticed recently that many of our coaching clients or attendees at our workshops have one issue in common:  they are resisting something.

It might be taking the first step towards a new project, dealing with a colleague who has a different approach to working or making some sort of change in their lives.  Because of this resistance, they might feel frustrated and angry and the issue consumes a large amount of their waking hours. 

Very often what I have helped them to do is reframe the situation and try to understand what is going on from another perspective.  Sometimes that can be extremely hard to do - especially if its resistance related to the behaviour of another person, because it means you have to step into their shoes and view the situation differently. What I have noticed is that when they realise that acceptance does not have to mean agreement - they can move on.   So think about it - what do you need to let go of today and move from resisting to accepting.  Three things can help you do this:

1.  View the situation from some other perspectives - what do other people notice is going on? what does that other person think about you? what would a fly on the wall think is really going on?

2. Accept that by taking an action it does not mean it has to be forever.   

3. Think about the positive benefits you will gain from accepting the situation.

Try it and see what happens - you will be amazed - no more stress!

Eliminating the Chatterbox

Recently I had a real panic at work when I had to be two places at once, and it meant finding someone else to be "me" at the last minute.  I thought carefully and then asked a business contact of mine, whom I know pretty well and she rose to the challenge amazingly well.  I asked her afterwards for feedback and she admitted that if she had been given time to think about things, she would probably have talked herself out of doing it. However, she ended up making a split second decision to help out and consequently did a fabulous job. What is it that you could be talking yourself out of trying?  The "chatterbox" in our heads that Susan Jeffers talks about in Feel the Fear and do it anyway, sometimes needs to be turned down so that we allow ourselves to achieve more than we thought was possible. So, how loud is your internal chatterbox?

Opera singers and coaches

I was listening to Radio 4 earlier this week and heard a feature where Dame Kiri Te Kanawa was criticising so called "opera fakes" - people who are popular classical singers and who sing with a microphone. The debate then went on to suggest that it was the media who labelled such people as opera singers whilst this was not necessarily the case according to Dame Kiri, who has undertaken years of opera training.

It made me think about the coaching profession. I notice that it has also gained this sort of snobbery value according to how much training you have had.  Those who have undergone years of professional training and hold qualifications from learned organisations or institutions can be heard to sneer about those so-called coaches who do a weekend course and call themselves a coach.  The difference being of course in the fee rates!

I believe that there is room in the marketplace for all types of coaches - from those who have limited experience and knowledge and those at the other end of the spectrum - because the proof will be in the eating (clients will either gain some benefit or they will not and they will also have different budgets).   

What the overall coaching profession overall needs to do is educate companies that purchase coaching services and the general public who may  work with a coach as to what the professional standards are so that they can be more savvy when it comes to deciding who to work with.

I would hope that those just starting out on the coaching journey having done a weekend course and identifying themselves as a coach will continue to learn and develop their skills over time so that the bar is raised for coaches at either end of the experience and skills spectrum.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Tomorrow I am going to a local nursery school to talk to the children about "cold places".  As they won't want to listen for too long I am also taking along some of my expedition clothing to show them what you wear in the Arctic - and of course they will get to try it on!  This came about because the children wrote me a letter inviting me to speak to them and the teacher was quite surprised when I responded - because she believed I would be too busy.

I regularly speak to business people who wish for all sort of things e.g. getting a mentor, making the introduction to a contact in a particular company, or finding an ideal business partner and yet don't do anything about turning their wishes into reality.  Now whilst the result in the end may not be the ideal outcome, I always encourage people to take the risk and ask for the help, referral or contact they want.  After all, what is the worst that can happen?

If you can accept the response, then go for it and you might get a pleasant surprise....

What matters most in coaching

I came across this list of issues that Vega Zagier Roberts and Michael Jarrett summarise as 'What Matters Most? when coaching  and I really like this.  You could use it a checklist for yourself as a coach and see how you shape up....

A good coach should:
1. Have genuine commitment to the client and their success
2. Create clear contracting so coach, client and organisation have shared expectations and objectives: includes explicit agreement about confidentiality.
3. Have honesty: no secret agendas between coach and organisation, such as assessing client: address possible conflicts of interest between coachee and their organisation
4. Know and work within your own limitations, in particular "not unpacking what you don't have time or skill to pack up again"
5. Set appropriate task boundaries - clarity about what kinds of issues are legitimate
6. Create appropriate role boundaries - clarity whether on is in the role of facilitator, teacher, expert, friend and aware when there is conflict or confusion about the coach's role.
7. Have awareness of the potential for creating dependency and vigilance not to exploit this.
8. Having a broad flexible repertoire of interventions and ways of thinking about people and organisations.
9. Have regular review of ones work in formal or informal supervision with colleagues.